2006 Yuppie of the Year: The Duke Lacrosse Team

Well 2006 was a big year for Yuppie management. They continued to downgrade American Institutions and Businesses. The food poisonings this year should have been a wake-up call for all of us about their leadership. But for some reason nobody seemed too outraged over this tragedy. In fact, people seemed to take it pretty much in stride. Gas prices are slowly rising again as gas providers make the switch from winter fuel blends to summer ones. And as prices begin to rise with more driving, the Yuppie media is gearing up for another summer of hype. Again Americans seemed to take the high prices with a grain of salt and make small gasps but bend over at the pumps. It was tough this year finding a Yuppie of the Year with so many likely candidates but there had to be a winner and after two months of investigation two colleges come in first and second.

The first runner up is Columbia U. Students there stormed the stage at Columbia University's Roone auditorium, knocking over chairs and tables and attacking Jim Gilchrist, the founder of the Minutemen, a group that patrols the border between America and Mexico. The students there are not much into freedom of speech which is a basic freedom that stems from the beginning of our country. Its not I agree or disagree over border patrols its the idea that these students didn't allow this guy to speak at a function set up by his backers. If some students there did not agree with their tactics they could of protested before and after the function outside the building. They could of wrote articles in the school paper or could of got a band to write them a protest song (grins). These are things students in the sixties would have done. But these fools wreaked havoc onstage by attacking the speaker like a bunch of nazi storm troopers and unrolled a banner that read, in both Arabic and English, "No one is ever illegal." Well what they did was illegal and the university faculty was far from being outraged. They kinda laughed it off and so did the International Socialist organization which planned this nazi gestapo-like debacle. But as bad as this was they didn't win the award. The award this year went to another great American institution of higher learning: Duke U.

Seems the students at this fine school never saw the 1978 movie Animal House starring John Belushi and didn't know how to conduct a frat party. The Lacrosse Team just didn't know how to get women to come to their party so they had to hire a couple of them. Then when the women got there, who were Afro-American, they belittled them, shouted racial slurs at them and eventually drugged, beat and raped one of them. "O no" you say, these fine lads have been cleared of this charge. Well I knew these punks would be cleared the minute I heard about the case. Hows a stripper gonna beat the system like they have at these top schools where athletes are treated to graft and illegal pay-offs daily. She should have known Duke was "above the law" but she went after them anyway. In a way she did get to them. "This woman has destroyed everything I worked for in my life. She's put it on hold. She's destroyed two other families and she's brought shame on a great university. And, worst of all she's split apart a community and a nation on facts that just didn't happen and a lie that should have never been told," says David Evans, one of the perverts. Well Dave if you knew how to pick up girls, or at least knew how to treat them, you wouldn't have destroyed your life. By the way this weirdo is on his way to Wall St. to work there. You Black ladies in the City better be aware this nut is on his way there and Wall St. is no place for the week hearted like this guy seems to be. I am going to go over the facts of this case like Joe Friday, just the facts!!!

A young Afro-American woman suffered injuries that appeared to be caused by a sexual assault last March at a party put on by the Duke Lacrosse Team. Reade Seligmann, one of the three players indicted turned himself in to police at dawn to be handcuffed and charged with first-degree forcible rape, sexual offense and kidnapping. Less than 48 hours later, his lawyer was able to produce evidence that would seem to indicate it was virtually impossible that Seligmann committed the crime. Photos taken by a partygoer show the alleged victim, an exotic dancer, ending her performance for the team at 12:03 a.m. Between 12:05 and 12:24 a.m., Seligmann dialed at least eight separate calls on his cell phone. A taxi driver said that he had picked up Seligmann and another friend, who were laughing and joking, at about 12:19, and took them to an ATM (where Seligmann swiped his card), to a fast-food restaurant and then to his dorm, where Seligmann swiped in at 12:46 a.m. In other words, it would seem Seligmann must have committed a sex crime in less than two minutes or while he was on the phone. Defense lawyers were broadly hinting that the second defendant, Collin Finnerty, had left the party before the dance even began. Both men's lawyers maintain their clients are innocent. Raw racial politics insued. A bedeviling forensic puzzle evolved and the story has spinned and turned a number of times but it is the product of a widespread, rubber protected, college-age culture.

According to the second dancer, when the alleged victim arrived at the March 13 party to perform, she was clearly sober, the second dancer’s attorney Mark Simeon said. But by the time the alleged victim left the party, about an hour after she had arrived, the second dancer noticed that the woman appeared to be under the influence of some substance. In a call to a police dispatcher at about 1:30 that night, which was made public last week, one of the first officers to see the accuser said she was “passed-out drunk” The second dancer, who says she was the person who called 911 that night to report that she had been called a n----- by one of the men at the house, also does not support the defense’s version of events. When presented with a detailed timeline of the night offered by the defense, the second dancer has specified through her attorney that it was not accurate. According to this timeline, provided by defense attorney Ekstrand, the alleged victim was never alone in the house for more than about 10 minutes.

Now lets weed through the B.S. Why did ole Reade run out of the party so quick. Was he in a hurry to go home to whack-off. What a party pooper!!! I quess a rich guy with no girl has strange fetishes. And whats ole Collin doing leaving the party before the main event which he helped set up. Collin, also had no girl, maybe he was in a hurry to do some homework or join his church group. Gimme a break!!! These two perverts probably woke up after a drunken stupper and realized what had happenned and right away had to contrive alibis. And what of the 40, or so, other yuppies that were at the party. Why weren't any of them able to remember what had went on. Probably too high on beer, oxycottin and viagra. I am also wondering what was going on between the girls stiptease at approx. 12:00 AM and when she left at 1:30 AM. You are going to tell me strippers were at the party an hour and a half and none of the 40 other baboons saw them. You know the girl should of hired a body guard, and probably met these guys at a club and fiqured they were okay. But just because she was alittle naive doesn't mean she deserved to get her ass beat. Stuffed shirts like Rush Limbaugh probably fiqured the girl deserved what she got. Imagine a low life tramp soiling these fine, outstanding, young athletes out for a little fun. During an on-air discussion with a caller, Limbaugh said that former Democratic presidential candidate Al Sharpton was "trying to figure out how he can get involved in the deal down there at Duke where the lacrosse team ... supposedly, you know, raped some, uh, hos." Well these are the facts as I see them, and reguardless of what has been determined by the courts. Animal House's Delta House Frat would have found these Yuppies of the Year negligent of knowing how to throw a party.